#kpop smau | jjunieworld (2024)

20. icarus ⸝ ˚⋆

↳ mostly written, some texts. word count: 8.6k (warning: there will be some suggestive acts in this chapter, but not smut.)

you and your friends were at the cafe figuring out your backup plan. the thought of your friends going through all this trouble just to make sure you had a good birthday really warmed your heart. you couldn’t have asked for better friends.

currently, your boyfriend wasn’t present for the plan, nor was the plan mentioned in the groupchat he was a part of. you suspected this was purposeful. ever since sakura announced she was throwing a birthday party for you, yeonjun has been more cautious than ever around soobin. in fact, all of your friends were. recent hangouts didn’t outright exclude him, but they made no effort to include him either. your heart broke at this. you didn’t want the people you love most to be part of two separate worlds.

yunjin brought a notebook along with her that she was writing the entire plan down. so far it filled almost two whole pages. yeonjun reached across the table and took it from her.

“so the main plan,” yeonjun said as he picked up the highlighter, “is that if we don’t go to the party, we go to the beach and do our usual birthday celebrations. and then after we have a big movie night at my apartment.” he highlighted the main plan as he spoke. the notebook honestly looked chaotic. there were little bullet point ideas written everywhere, some crossed out, some highlighted. ‘MAIN PLAN’ was written in big bold letters at the top of one of the pages along with ‘BACKUP PLAN’ written for the instance things go wrong.

“and here’s the main backup plans that we have in case something goes wrong,” yunjin continued. “for example, a change of clothes in case cake gets thrown on y/n along with makeup and hair supplies, our own bottle of alcohol in case the one there is spiked with something, and since we plan on walking home again since we’ll most likely be drunk, jackets.”

“oh and one of us will stay sober that way at least one of us is alert!” jake added. “i’ll stay sober,” kai said, “i’m too nervous about all of this to even think of drinking.” you gave him a side hug as you gave him a comforting smile.

a lot of the backup plan was excessive, a bunch of what ifs that all of you knew most likely weren’t ever gonna happen, such as the spiking of drinks, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared. you struggled to wrap your mind around the whole thing.

“won't people think we’re a little weird if we go in wearing bookbags and sh*t?” you asked. you didn’t think you could really leave the bags anywhere either without the fear of someone taking them. and you really didn’t want to have one of your friends sitting guard the whole night.

jake waved a hand, “we can stash them somewhere outside the house. everyone’s gonna be drunk, they aren’t even gonna notice.” you guess he was right. you took a deep breath. honestly, all of this is making you not want to even go. but you had to at least give it a chance. give soobin’s friends a chance.

“even if we did wear them inside, people already think we’re weird so who cares,” said yunjin. you all nodded at that.

“guys… we’re missing a key point…” you said. they all turned to you, puzzled looks on their face. you saw yeonjun’s eyes scan the notebook again. “what about soobin? where does he fit into all of this? even if we did just leave the party, what would i even say to him? does he come with us?”

at your last question, they all looked around the table. “damn… i kinda forgot about him,” you heard jake mutter under his breath.

yeonjun looked at you, “do you want him to join us?” you shrugged a little. “if you guys don’t want him there then i don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“it’s your birthday, y/n,” kai said. “it doesn’t matter if we don’t want him there. it matters if you do or not.” murmurs of agreement sounded off around the table.

you looked down to your hands, “i mean, i would like him there. he is my boyfriend. but still…” yunjin wrapped her arms around you. “then it’s settled!”

the new plan was that soobin really didn’t even need to know about the backup plan. again, it was just precautions that probably wouldn’t even happen. as for where he fits in with the main plan, if we decided to leave or not go at all, then you would just tell him to meet you at the beach instead. he joins in with the usual birthday celebrations and follows us back to yeonjun’s place.

“alright then!” yeonjun exclaimed as he closed the notebook. he stood and we all followed suit. “is everyone well versed with the plans?” we all nodded and yeonjun nodded in satisfaction.

“tomorrow is the party,” kai started, “which means that today will be spent with all of us choosing outfits.” he took your hands in his.

“especially the birthday girl! now, i already have the most amazing outfit picked out so unfortunately you will look second best on your birthday, but that’s okay! at least it’s still second!” you laughed as kai wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“we gotta have you looking sexy!” yunjin squealed a little. “we want not only soobin all over you, but everyone else there too!”

you stopped in your tracks a little, “uh, i don’t know about—“

“you’re gonna look so good, the whole house is gonna want to get with you for a night!”

today was the day. it was your birthday, and you were another year older. the thought filled you with brief dread, but you tried not to focus on that.

your phone was blown up with a bunch of happy birthday messages and your heart couldn’t help but feel full. even though your friends posted embarrassing pictures of you on social media.

it was bright and early in the morning, and thankfully you didn’t have any classes today. your phone began to ring. you checked the caller id to see that it was your boyfriend, soobin.

“hello?” you answered.

“happy birthday, baby,” soobin replied.

a smile immediately broke out on your face. you held in the urge to giggle as you laid back down on your bed. “thank you! how did you even know i was awake?”

you heard him laugh through the phone. “i figured you wouldn’t be able to sleep that well.” he was right. you were tossing and turning all night. you looked to your side and were thankful that your roommate had basically moved out already.

“i wanna do something with you before the party,” soobin continued. “just you and i.” your smile widened and you nodded even though he couldn’t see it.

“okay! come over right now!”

it didn’t take long at all for soobin to get to your dorm room. it felt like he was honestly waiting at your door with how fast he arrived. he told you he was at taehyun’s dorm since he was helping him study for exams.

“he said happy birthday by the way,” soobin said, referring to taehyun. soobin was still in his pajamas too and he looked like he had just gotten up as well.

“tell him i said thank you!” you replied. “you look like you just woke up.” he laughed a little as he laid down on your bed.

“i’ve been basically up all night hammering these notes into my head.” he covered himself with your covers and closed his eyes. you sat on the edge of the bed next to him.

“don’t fall asleep, soobin! you said you were here for me!” you pouted a little. his arms sprang out from the covers and wrapped around you, pulling you down. you were now literally laying on top of him.

“there, that’s better,” he said. you started giggling, which was ultimately muffled by the covers. you turned your head to the side and stared at his profile. you were basically laying like a stick.

“this is very uncomfortable,” you smiled. his hands traveled down your body until he was at your legs. he moved them so that you were now straddling him. you sat up and looked down at him.

“this was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” you asked. it was like your words went in one ear and out the other as he just stared up at you. you felt his hands at your hips.

you snapped a finger in his face. “earth to soobin?”

he blinked a couple of times before a smile slowly spread on his face. “i’m sorry, but you cannot be looking down on me like this.” you rolled your eyes as you laid down on his chest.

“so what did you want to do?” you asked. you felt him shrug as his hands laid on your back, rubbing small circles on it. “i just wanted to be with you.”

“and sleep with me apparently,” you said as you looked at his closed eyes. they immediately flew open and he looked over at you. you sighed and rolled your eyes again. “sleep as in sleeping, not as in sex.”

he smirked a little and adjusted the two of you slightly so he could see you better. “i mean… it could be both if you want it to be.”

you didn’t even give him an answer, just laughed a little and turned your head to the other side.

he rolled you until you were laying beside him. “i’m content with just sleeping with you.” you intertwined your hand with his and you gazed at him. smiling, you gave him a soft kiss.

“i don’t think i’d be able to sleep right now even if i tried. but if you’re tired then be my guest, the plans don’t start until way later today.”

soobin pulled you close and put his chin on the top of your head. “mmm… if you’re not sleeping then i’m not either. i want as much time with you today that i can get.” you giggled at that.

a comfortable silence fell between the two of you. you were wide awake listening to soobin’s breathing and his heartbeat. you were sure that he fell asleep.

“i love you, soobin,” you said quietly, a small smile on your face. his hold on you tightened and you tensed a little. you were so sure he was asleep.

“i love you, y/n.”

you looked up and he moved his head so that your foreheads were touching. “you do?” you sheepishly asked. soobin chuckled.

“of course i do.”

he brought his lips to yours. it began soft, but with the heightened emotions and adrenaline running through both of your veins, it didn’t take long before it started to get heated.

you ran your hand through his hair to get it out of his face, lightly gripping the ends and causing his head to tilt back slightly. soobin broke away, about to say something, but you chased his lips hungrily.

he turned onto his back, taking you with him by the hips so you were straddling him again. the covers were tangled in between your bodies. your skin felt like it was on fire and your heart felt like it was gonna combust.

“y/n…” soobin said between kisses. you mumbled a reply, not bothering to take your lips off his. you put your hands flat on his chest and rocked your hips a little.

“y/n…” he said again, and pulled back slightly. you sat up a little, trying to catch your breath. “yeah?”

“are you sure about this?” he asked. “you know i was just kidding earlier. we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

you sat back fully. “i want to. i’m sure,” you replied. you went to lean in again but he stopped you.

“are you sure sure? i don’t want to make you uncomfortable. and if i hurt you in any way make sure you let me know and we can stop.”

you laughed at how worried he was. “i am one hundred percent completely sure i want to do this. i promise you.” you kissed him deeply again and he brought his hands to your hips and began guiding them. you softly moaned in satisfaction.

he then suddenly pulled away.

soobin smiled up at you. in one swift motion you were suddenly under him. you let out a small squeal at the sudden change. he smirked a little, put his lips to your ear, and in a low voice said, “happy birthday, baby.”

soobin then took off his shirt and brought his lips back down onto yours.

you were asleep across soobin’s chest when you were awoken by your phone absolutely blowing up. you checked the time and saw that it was around 5:30 in the afternoon now. the room was dark as the sun began to set.

the light of your phone blinded you as you got an incoming call. you squinted your eyes and began clicking around on the screen until it answered. you put the phone to your ear and let out a groggy “hello?”

“what the f*ck!?” yelled yunjin’s voice. it was a facetime call and not a regular one. you quickly moved the phone away from your ear as it started ringing and angled it towards your face. you mumbled a response to yunjin.

“are you naked right now?” yunjin yelled even louder. this woke up soobin and he sat up next to you, sleepily looking at the phone.

“oh my god, so it wasn’t a prank,” yunjin gasped. the camera shook as she began to move and suddenly all your friends were on the screen. you groaned.

“this is so ridiculous,” you muttered.

“let’s hope she can walk well later tonight for this party,” jake said and the group laughed. you heard soobin laugh beside you and you pushed him away. it only caused him to laugh harder.

“goodbye!” you said as your cheeks heated. you didn’t listen to what they began to say as you ended the call. you ran a hand over your face and laid back, throwing the phone to your side.

soobin reached over and grabbed it. he began looking through all the notifications from your friends, laughing at some.

“i don’t think you want to open the group chat for a while…” soobin said, smiling as he looked over at you. you let out a loud and dramatic sigh. soobin laughed as he sat your phone back on the bedside table. he laid back down and pulled you to his chest.

“let’s just stay like this,” he then said.

you chuckled, “nice try. if we stay like this we’ll fall back asleep. and i need to take a shower.” you then tried to get up but his arms locked tighter around you.

“come on, stay in bed with me.” you laughed and shook your head. it was his turn to let out a loud and dramatic sigh as you sat up.

you watched as soobin’s eyes trailed down your body. gasping, you wrapped the blankets around you.

“how dare you look at me like way!” you say playfully. he smiled and sat up, placing kisses all over your cheeks.

“let’s go then!” soobin said as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. you looked at him, confused.

“go where…?”

“to shower, duh!” he replied. you let out a shocked laugh and shook your head.

“absolutely not!”

soobin turned to look back at you. “it’ll be faster, come on! don’t be shy! i literally just saw you naked.” the corner of his mouth tilted up and you pushed him a little.

“that’s different!”

“how?!”

you hesitated. you didn’t really know how it was different, but it just was! sex and showering together were two very different things! besides… the dorm showers were not the place to be showering together. granted, your dorm did luckily have its own bathroom.

“but the dorm—“

soobin swiftly cut you off. “exactly, not different at all. let’s go!” he tugged at your hand and you sighed as you got up, a small smile playing on your lips.

you and soobin met up with your friends around 8pm at yeonjun’s apartment. as soon as you stepped through the door, there were a loud chorus of cheers. your cheeks were immediately hot and you turned and buried your face in soobin’s jacket. you felt his chest vibrate as he laid a hand on the back of your head.

you turned and looked at them from over your shoulder. “i hate you guys so much.”

yunjin came up to you and took you from soobin’s arms. “someone’s glowing!” you rolled your eyes. you had a feeling that they were gonna come out of your head with how much you’ll probably be doing that today.

“steady now!” you heard jake say. you told him to f*ck off.

yunjin took you away from the group, who were lounging at the table with some snacks, and took you into the bathroom. she locked the door behind her and turned back to you with the biggest smile on her face. “tell me everything!”

you hid your face in your hands, but began recalling the events. from soobin’s call, to him coming over, and to when she called. her hand was over her mouth hiding a wide grin.

“i’m surprised it was only one time!” she said after you were finished. you looked to the floor and said nothing. she gasped.

“twice?” you looked up to the ceiling, your lip between your teeth.

“no f*cking way… three times?!” she practically yelled. you had to quickly smack a hand over her mouth. you were praying that the others didn’t hear.

you hid your face in your hands again as you sat on the edge of the tub.

“where??” her eyes were wide and she practically was shaking you for the answer.

“well the bed, obviously…” you started. “and the shower after… and in the car on the way here…” you muttered the second part. “damn!” yunjin said and then squealed. you wished you could sink down into the drain.

“i don’t know what’s gotten into me, i literally couldn’t keep my hands off him!” yunjin broke into a laugh.

“well, i know what’s gotten into you…” your mouth fell open and you smacked her arm. her laugh grew louder. “shut the f*ck up! it’s not funny!”

you left the bathroom with yunjin, your hands covering your heated face as you went back to the living area

you heard murmurs grow and you quickly said, “if anyone else says something to me you will be dead in a ditch!” you then heard soobin’s laugh as he gently moved your hands away from your face.

“look at her cheeks!” kai said. you quickly shot him a fierce glare and he busted out laughing. you wrapped your arms around soobin and put your face into his shirt. “go to hell,” you said, muffled.

“let’s have her blow out her candles,” yeonjun announced, stifling a laugh.

you pulled away from soobin and ran your hands over your face before sighing dramatically.

yeonjun pulled out a cupcake from the box he had on the kitchen counter. he then pulled out a pack of numbered candles and put some on the cupcake. you sat at the table and yeonjun sat the cupcake in front of you and lit it. the others crowded around you as they began to sing happy birthday to you.

“make a wish!” jake said.

you thought it over for a moment. you had everything you could ever wish for right here in this room with you. what more could you ask for? then it occurred to you… you wish your life could be like this forever. surrounded by the people you love most in this world, and knowing they love you back just as much, if not more.

you barely got to blow out the candles before everyone began to cheer. soobin leaned down next to you.

“i love you, happy birthday.” he whispered in your ear and then gave you a kiss on the cheek.

hueningkai pulled you to your feet. “let’s sing!”

instead of going to a karaoke place, you and your friends found it much more fun to just put the songs on youtube and sing along in the comfort of your own spaces.

you moved to the couch as yeonjun set his tv up. yunjin snatched the remote from him and put on bubblegum bitch by marina and the diamonds.

yunjin handed you another remote and you stood up as she pressed play. she held the remote to her mouth as the song started playing. you’ve sung this song together so many times before that you each have your own designated parts.

i’ve got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll. don’t care if you think i’m dumb. i don’t care at all. candy bear, sweetie pie, i wanna be adored. i’m the girl you’d die for.

she took your hand as she spun around the living room. jake and kai moved the table out of the way so you’d have more space.

the rest of the group sat on the couch. you turned to them as your part came up.

i’ll chew you up and i’ll spit you out. cause that’s what young love is all about. so pull me closer…

you leaned down and took soobin lightly by the shirt. you then gave him a quick peck on the lips.

…and kiss me hard. i’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart!

you pulled away and went to yunjin and stood back to back as you both got ready to sing the next part together.

i’m miss sugar pink, liquor, liquor, lips. hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss. i’m miss sugar pink, liquor, liquor, lips. i’m gonna be your bubblegum bitch.

you and yunjin then started the dance you rehearsed.

the others ‘ooh’ed and clapped a little. yunjin stood off to the side and began to walk to the center of the living room as she sang her next part. a finger in the air.

queentex, latex, i’m your wonder maid. life gave me some lemons, so i made some lemonade. soda pop, soda pop, baby, here i come. straight to number one.

you quickly ran up to her, a hopeful expression on your face.

oh, “dear diary”, i met a boy. he made my doll heart light up with joy!

you turned to soobin, making a heart in the air around his face. his cheeks turned red as he smiled and the other laughed.

you turned back to yunjin, trailing your finger down your cheek in lieu of tears.

oh, “dear diary”, we fell apart.

you didn’t even get to get your next part out as the rest of them sang along.

welcome to the life of electra heart!

you and yunjin continued the rest of the song. striking a pose at the end as your friends cheered. you looked at each other and shrugged nonchalantly.

“i know, i know, we’re amazing!” yunjin said as she playfully waved and threw out air kisses.

“we’ll see you next week!” you yelled.

that’s how the hours leading up to your birthday party at sakura’s unfolded. you each taking turns singing songs and doing duets. some were amazing, others were kai and jake singing a duet of wouldn’t change a thing from camp rock 2. you even got soobin to sing.

when it got to be about two hours until the party, you all decided to get ready. yeonjun kept banging on the bathroom door while you and yunjin were doing your makeup to let him in so he could check his reflection.

compared to your outfits from the last party of sakura’s you’ve attended, these outfits were much better. you looked like celebrities about to go on the red carpet.

yunjin made you get dressed in the bathroom so your outfit would be a surprise. as soon as the two of you walked back into the living area, it was so silent you could hear a pin drop. your friends’ and you boyfriend’s mouth hung open. yunjin just smiled and gave you a knowing look.

you all drove back to the dorms for the walk over to sakura’s. soobin was a little curious about the bags you were carrying, but yeonjun just chalked it up to various birthday stuff. you can tell that it confused your boyfriend a little, but he didn’t say anything else about it.

the crowd outside sakura’s house seemed even bigger than the crowd from last time. you were about to stand behind and wait your turn, but one of the security guards waved you and your friends up to him.

the security guard looked directly at soobin. “your friends, sir?”

soobin looked caught off guard for a moment before he said, “ah, yes…” he then pointed to you. “the birthday girl.”

realization showed through on the guard’s face and he opened the gate to let your group through.

the bags ended up getting discretely stuffed in some bushes close to the door. you hoped that you and your friends wouldn’t be too drunk to remember where they are if you needed them.

you kept a small little hand bag on you that mainly held your phone and headphones. your heart thumped in your chest as you grew closer and closer to the door. soobin took your hand and gave you a small comforting smile.

inside, the party was already in full swing. now that you were more familiar with the layout, it didn’t feel as overwhelming. you all circled around each other.

“do you guys wanna get drinks or do you just wanna to go straight upstairs?” soobin yelled to you all over the music. you all voted on drinks. after downing a couple, except for kai who decided to stay sober, you all made your way to the stairs and up to the fourth floor.

you once again bypassed another guard who stepped aside as he saw your group. sakura spotted you all and stood up from the circle of people surrounding her. she made her way over to you.

“y/n you look so lovely! happy birthday!” she air hugged you and then gave you two cheek air kisses. you smiled at her, “thank you so much, sakura!”

she led you all towards the empty couch that she must’ve saved for you and your friends. drinks immediately began getting served to you all.

“i have a cake for you, and then you’ll get your special surprise!” sakura smiled. you returned the smile. “but until they bring the cake out, drink up!”

sakura took a seat back in the center of the half circle of people. the music wasn’t as loud up here as it was on the other floors, so you could speak pretty comfortably. the fourth floor was also bigger, which helped.

you turned to your friends. yeonjun held up a finger from the hand that was holding the glass that was handed out. he took a sip from it and after a moment he nodded that it was good.

you tasted it yourself and was shocked that it was so sweet. it didn’t even taste like alcohol. you were already starting to feel a little tipsy from your other drinks. there was no doubt that this drink was gonna hit you a few minutes from now like a pound of bricks.

yunjin and kai went to where people were dancing and yeonjun and jake scoped out some escape routes. it was just you and soobin alone.

“you alright?” soobin asked. you looked over at him as you took another sip of your drink and nodded.

“yeah, i’m having a good time so far! i wonder what cake sakura got.” soobin stood. “let me see if i can go look, i’ll be right back.”

he pulled out his phone and shook it a little as if to say “text me if you need me.” you gave him a thumbs up as he made his way towards a hallway that led somewhere you couldn’t see.

you scanned your surroundings as you finished your drink. you gave a glance over at sakura to see that she was in her own world. the people around her were laughing at whatever she was telling them.

you decided that you wanted to dance. you began to sit down the glass you were holding on the table but a staff member appeared before you, taking it from you and handing you another. you jumped at their sudden appearance, but thanked them reluctantly.

this time you drank half of the glass and left the other half for later. the first one still hasn’t hit yet and you didn’t want to be so drunk again that you could barely walk. you took the glass with you as you made your way to where people were dancing to look for your friends.

“y/n!” you heard kai shout. you turned towards the direction of his voice and saw him and yunjin waving you over. a couple people told you happy birthday as you made your way over. your cheeks were slightly heated as you reached them.

“this place is like a whole different world,” yunjin said. you nodded in agreement. “i went to sit my other glass down and before i could someone was already putting another in my hand.” their eyebrows raised and shocked smiled appeared on their faces. they looked at each other in disbelief.

the three of you started to dance to the music, which was actually good. you felt a little silly for bringing your headphones now.

you felt hands snake around your waist and someone come up behind you. you quickly turned to see who it was, letting out a sigh of relief when it was just soobin.

you turned back around and continued dancing. he leaned down to your ear. “they wouldn’t let me in, but i did see a glimpse of it. all i saw was white.”

he took the glass from your hand and drank the remaining contents. you turned with a shocked look on your face. “i was gonna drink that!”

soobin looked you up and down with an eyebrow raised and just shook his head. he was laughing but you couldn’t hear it over the music. you realized that you were already starting to sway while trying to stand still. you swayed a little too much and he quickly steadied you.

you smiled up at him sheepishly. you could hear his laugh now as he bent down to press his forehead to yours. “i wasn’t even gone that long! how much did you drink?” you giggled. your brain was too foggy to recall. he shook his head a little as he kissed you.

at some point, yeonjun and jake joined the rest of you on the dance floor. you all danced for a while, got some more drinks—soobin didn’t let you have anymore of whatever was in those glasses—and made your way back to the couch.

you saw soobin’s friends, taehyun, beomgyu, and sunghoon, make their way over to where you all were sitting. they sat on the loveseat diagonal from you.

“happy birthday, y/n!” taehyun said as he sat. you smiled and thanked him. the other two mumbled a happy birthday and you thanked them too.

“so, who’s your friends?” taehyun asked. your eyebrows briefly shot up as you turned to your friends. you began introducing them one by one as you went down the line. yeonjun didn’t even look up at him.

after introducing your friends you said, “and this is taehyun, beomgyu, and sunghoon.” your friends said their hellos while beomgyu and sunghoon waved.

the whole exchange was very awkward. you glanced over to soobin. he put his hand on your back and subtly pulled you closer.

you saw sakura stand as a huge tv got rolled out to the center of the room, along with a table with a cake on it. the cake was in a fancy cake holder, so you couldn’t see what it looked like. someone handed sakura a microphone and she turned it on, giving it a small tap to confirm.

“hi everyone! as you know, this is y/n’s birthday party! can you make some noise for the birthday girl?!” she waved in your direction and suddenly a bright light shined on you, catching you off guard. you tried your best not to let it show as you smiled and waved. you heard the whole house go wild, especially your friends who were next to you.

“now it is time for her cake and her very special surprise! who’s ready?” sakura continued. you clapped a little and smiled for everyone who was watching you, but your heart was thundering in your chest. soobin’s hand moved from your back and gripped your waist.

you glanced over to your friends to see that they were all suddenly as alert as a hawk as the clapped and pretended to smile. their eyes scanned the room, especially the tv and table that got rolled out.

sakura walked over to you and were slightly thankful that the spotlight wasn’t completely on you anymore. even if it was sakura who was next to you. she held out a hand and you took it and stood.

“let’s have her blow out the candles!” sakura cheered. she began to guide you to the tv and table at the center of the room and you could see your friends and soobin following hot on your heels.

once you got to the table, sakura made everyone take a couple steps back so that you were the focus. you could tell this deeply troubled your friends, as they were as close as they could get. you were really nervous now that you might actually get a face full of cake and it would be displayed on the tv or something. suddenly it felt like all the alcohol left your body.

“let’s sing happy birthday on three!” sakura said and then began to count down. once she hit three, you could hear the whole house begin to sing. the microphone must’ve went to the lower floors too. you looked around as they sang, plastering a smile on your face. you were really searching for cameras. thankfully, you saw none, but that only put you at more unease.

“now time for the cake and surprise!” sakura then said. she came up next to you just as the tv switched on. you saw her switch the microphone off. “happy birthday,” she said and she gave you a smile as she grabbed the lid of the cake holder and took it off, handing it to a staff member nearby.

you looked down at the cake. it was completely white with two words in black lettering, ‘LOOK UP’. glancing over to sakura, her head was tilted slightly, a slight smirk on her lips. you did as the cake said and a video began playing.

whoever was taking the video was struggling to hold the camera up. you heard sakura’s voice from the video suddenly. “are you recording this? he’s so drunk, make sure you’re recording this so he can watch it back tomorrow.”

another voice started speaking, it sounded like beomgyu’s. “i’m recording! i’m recording! soobin…” he trailed off. you furrowed your brows.

what is this? and why are they mentioning soobin? your mind raced and you swayed a little. you looked back to him and your friends. soobin was being held back by beomgyu and sunghoon. he was looking at you with wide eyes of horror. your brows furrowed further, security was holding your friends back. you couldn’t hear them well over the video. everyone was now staring at you, some with smiles on their faces.

you turned back to the tv to see that soobin was now on the screen, clearly very drunk. your hands started to shake as your heart fell into your stomach.

—SOOBIN’S POV—

the color drained from soobin’s face as soon as the video started playing and he heard the familiar conversation play out for y/n to see. for everyone to see.

his body began to move towards her before two people harshly grabbed his arms and yanked him back.

“not so fast, pretty boy,” he heard sunghoon say near his ear.

soobin realized too late what this whole thing was. sakura knew, and she decided she wanted to kill two birds with one stone. and she wanted it to hurt. why else would she do this on y/n’s birthday of all days?

soobin pushed and pulled against the two people he thought were his friends, but to no avail. he stared at y/n in horror as the video continued.

when she looked back at him, clearly confused, he felt his heart get ripped out his chest. he could see that she was scared now. soobin, too late, also realized the fact that security was holding back her friends.

“get your f*cking hands off of me!” he could hear yunjin shout, but it felt so far away.

he then heard sunghoon’s voice from the screen. “we bet that soobin couldn’t get with the most unpopular girl in school.” then he heard his own idiotic voice sound back at him like a grenade. “how much? how much? i’m not getting with some loser if i’m not getting paid for this sh*t.”

y/n put a shaky hand to her mouth. he watched through her body language as she began to realize what she was watching. she stood frozen in her spot in front of the cake.

soobin wanted to bang his head repeatedly off the ground. he wanted to rip his own voice box out so that he’d never be able to speak again.

he listened as he and his friends began throwing out numbers until landing on five hundred dollars. and him asking who he would be seducing.

“what’s that one girl’s name? yunjin… her friend?” beomgyu spoke.

no. this could no be happening right now.

“that’s where the real challenge is at! a month… to at least almost get to third base!”

soobin closed his eyes as his world came crashing down around him. “this will be easy. sunghoon, you better get my money ready!” he heard himself say.

sakura then tapped the microphone, causing him to open his eyes. sunghoon and beomgyu let go of him finally. she had a large wad of cash in her hand as she handed it to y/n. y/n turned to her, there were tears in her eyes that were threatening to spill. she didn’t take the money so sakura put it in her hands herself.

“five hundred dollars! don’t worry soobin,” sakura said, turning to him, “it’s all there. promise!”

soobin ran up to y/n. “please, y/n. please listen to me…” his voice cracked as he grabbed her arms which caused her to look up to him.

the money dropped from her hands and spread out all over the floor around them. the tears in y/n’s eyes fell. soobin felt himself crumble completely.

y/n opened her mouth, but no words came out. soobin could understand her perfectly clear. why?

“i… i gave you everything…” y/n managed to say, barely a whisper. she slipped from his arms and ran off towards the stairs.

the music then suddenly cut on as soobin stood there frozen, trying not to let his own tears fall.

“you thought you could have your cake and f*cking eat it too?” he heard yunjin’s voice say as her hand landed hard on his cheek. his head flew to the side and he brought his hand up to touch his face. hands harshly grabbed him and turned him.

briefly, soobin saw jake and hueningkai running towards the stairs after y/n. yeonjun was stalking his way towards soobin after talking to them. the deadliest look was on his face.

he was brought back to the scene in front of him as yunjin got in his face. he couldn’t even process what she was saying, he was only thinking about y/n.

soobin will never forget the look in her eyes. the absolute hurt and betrayal in them. the way he watched as her heart broke into a million little pieces. he would do anything to be able explain it all to her. he would do anything to go back to earlier this morning. just the two of them, laying together in comfortable silence in her bed. to when she said she loves him. all of that, gone in an instant. maybe taehyun was right, he was icarus.

a fist connected with his face and he tumbled to the ground. soobin barely saw that it was yeonjun before he got on top of him and started landing punch after punch. soobin let him, he deserved it. he was so numb he didn’t even feel the pain.

yeonjun was pulled off him by security guards and soobin was hauled to his feet. he saw yeonjun shrug them off and wipe his bloodied knuckles on his clothes.

“if i ever see you again, you’re f*cking dead.” yeonjun said before walking off with a furious yunjin.

sakura was then in front of him. “don’t say that i never helped you.”

you didn’t know where you were or where you were going. you swayed in the middle of the street as you drank from the bottle of whatever alcohol your friends brought to the party. the tears you shed were long dried the more you drank. it was pitch black outside, the only light guiding your way was from the streetlights every couple meters. you had your headphones on and turned up to the max volume. blue light by mitski was playing through them.

somebody kiss me, i’m going crazy. i’m walking round the house naked, silver in the night.

your phone kept blowing up so you put it on silent. you turned your location off too. you just wanted to be alone. just you and this lonely world.

when you ran, you grabbed the bag with the alcohol and cut through some bushes and then some yards. then went down some various streets and alleys. even if you wanted people to know where you were, you wouldn’t be able to even give them a hint.

a car pulled up beside you. you didn’t even bother to look over or stop walking. you didn’t care. you took another drink from the bottle.

are you that blue light? are you that blue light? are you that blue light? are you…?

the driver’s window rolled down. “y/n?” you couldn’t quite place the voice and you could barely hear them so you decided to look over and take one of your headphones out. taehyun looked at you, a worried expression on his face.

“leave me alone,” you replied. it came out a lot more slurred than you were expecting.

“you’re swaying violently and drinking straight from the bottle in the middle of the road. can you please get in the car?”

you shook your head and almost fell over. “no… you’ll just take me back to him.”

the car stopped and you heard the door open and footsteps run up to you. you kept walking.

“back to who? soobin? what happened in that house?”

you stopped and gave him a fierce glare. it took everything in you not to smash the bottle across his head for asking you such a stupid question. “don’t act like you don’t know what f*cking happened. and don’t act like you weren’t in on this whole thing the entire f*cking time.”

taehyun sighed and there was a long moment of silence as you got further and further down whatever street you were on.

“i promise you, i thought the bet was called off after you guys had your first date. i never knew it would get this far.”

you scoffed at him. you remembered what soobin told you about him, taehyun was the nicest out of all of them, but don’t underestimate his rudeness. ugh. even in your darkest moments you were still thinking about him.

“regardless, i can't just leave you out here alone, drunk, and walking in the middle of the road in the middle of the night. at least let me take you back to your dorm.”

you took another drink from the bottle. you knew at any given moment you will probably pass out from how drunk you are. taking a look around you, you let out a sigh. you really didn’t feel like standing your ground right now either.

you stopped walking and turned to taehyun. “fine, but i don’t want to go back to my dorm. everyone will be waiting for me there and i just want to be alone.” taehyun nodded.

“okay. you can stay at my dorm then. i’ll tell beomgyu i need it to myself for the night to study and i’ll stay somewhere else. you won’t need to worry about him in the morning either, he’ll most likely be passed out at sakura’s until late afternoon.”

you flinched a little at her name. you took a deep breath and shrugged. taehyun gently took the bottle and cap from you. it was a little over halfway gone. he screwed the cap back on and then threw your arm over his shoulders. you both made your way back to his car.

when you were safe in the passenger’s seat and driving down the road you turned to taehyun. “how did you even know where to find me?”

he glanced at you for a second before putting his eyes back on the road. “soobin called me freaking out. he said he overheard your friends saying how you disappeared and they couldn’t find you at all.” you heart dropped for a brief moment. you should probably tell your friends you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere.

“it was bad. he was crying. he begged me to come out here and look for you so i just started driving down random streets around sakura’s area.” you rolled your eyes.

you pulled your phone out of the small bag you still had with you, just now realizing that somewhere along your walk you lost the bag that had the alcohol bottle in it. you quickly texted in the group chat “not dead in a ditch somewhere. will meet you in my dorm in the morning if i’m awake by then.” or at least, that’s what you meant to type. you then completely shut your phone off and put it back in the bag along the headphones that were still in your ears.

taehyun reached the dorms and you stumbled out of the car, barely stopping yourself from face planting on the concrete. “woah, careful,” taehyun said as he guided you to the doors.

the trek to his room was a rough one, but you made it somehow. you went to his couch and immediately laid down, your head spinning.

“you can sleep in my bed if you want to, i don’t mind.” taehyun told you, but you just shook your head. there’s no way you were gonna be able to get back up.

“i’ll be in in the morning to leave you some ibuprofen.” you mumbled a response, already half asleep.

before you completely dozed off, you felt taehyun place a blanket over you.

—SOOBIN’S POV—

as soon as soobin saw taehyun’s name show up on his phone, he immediately picked up the call.

“well?” soobin asked, his voice was hoarse. he didn’t care. he was sitting outside by the dorms in his car in case he could catch a glimpse of y/n somewhere.

soobin was sick with worry. when he overheard jake say that they couldn’t find her, his mind immediately went to the worst possible option.

“i found her,” taehyun replied. soobin let out the biggest sigh of relief as he rested his head against the steering wheel. “where is she?”

“she said she doesn’t want to see you. but she’s sleeping right now.”

“taehyun just tell me where she f*cking is.” soobin really didn’t have time for this. he needed to see for himself that she was okay. it was driving him crazy.

taehyun sighed on the line. “she’s sleeping on the couch in my dorm. but—“ soobin didn’t care for what else he had to say. he reversed into the dorm parking lot and got out, slamming his door shut behind him.

he sprinted to the doors and didn’t bother with the elevator as he ran up the stairs. he had too much pent up adrenaline to even be tired.

taehyun was waiting outside his door. soobin tried to walk past him and open the door but taehyun held a hand out to stop him. “is she in there?” soobin breathed.

taehyun shushed him. “she’s asleep! you shouldn’t even be here.” he said in a hushed tone. soobin waved him off. “i found her in the middle of the road swaying from side to side and drinking this straight from the bottle.” taehyun held up a rather large bottle of alcohol that was a little over half empty. soobin had to grip onto the edge of the door frame to steady himself.

“you f*cked up, badly,” taehyun said as he slowly eased the door open for him.

soobin closed his eyes and leaned against the door as soon as he saw her peacefully asleep. he took careful steps further into the room. taehyun took him by the arm.

“you can stay, but you have until morning to be gone before she wakes up.” taehyun whispered. soobin just nodded, not taking his eyes off y/n. “and you look terrible, you need to go get those cuts checked out.”

when soobin looked in his rear view mirror after racing back to the dorms, he saw that he had the beginning of a black eye, a swollen and cut lip, and probably a broken nose. he couldn’t care less about himself right now. the wounds didn’t even hurt.

taehyun left soon after, locking the door behind him.

soobin knows that y/n doesn't want to see him right now. or clearly anybody right now. but he couldn’t bare to leave her alone, especially not tonight. he knows how much he f*cked up. he said he wasn’t gonna break her heart again and he did. he wanted to rip his hair out. yunjin was right, he thought he could have his cake and eat it too.

he’ll give y/n however long she needed. he just desperately needed her to listen to what he has to say. just once. and if she decides that she never wants anything to do with him after, he’ll live with the consequences.

soobin rounded the table and quietly sat on it in front of y/n. he watched as her chest rose and fell from her breathing. before he could stop himself, his hand was already cupping her cheek, his thumb rubbing small circles into it. thankfully, she didn’t even stir. she must’ve been extremely drunk.

rounding the table again, soobin sat on the floor and laid his head in his arms on the table. he silently watched her. he was afraid that if he took his eyes off of her for even a second she would stop breathing or disappear.

soobin decided that he would stay up the rest of the night and however long he had with her in the morning to make sure nothing happened, not that he was going to get much sleep anyways.

summary: choi soobin has always been the popular kid surrounded by his popular friends. y/n… not so much. one night, soobin and his friends make bet that soobin can’t get y/n to date him in a month. unfortunately for y/n, they’re a hopeless romantic.

A/N: i am so sorry for this one… cause why i shed a tear and I’M the one who wrote it…

— kipo <3